Stupid Dad

It’s hard watching your children grow up, leaving the carefree tomfoolery of their early years behind them. I love to mess around with the kids, act like a fool to make them laugh, but my eldest is getting to the age where he’s starting to find me embarrassing almost as often as he finds me entertaining. Sometimes I see him looking at me and thinking “You really ARE an idiot”. And it’s only going to get worse. As the kids get older they’ll realise that although they assumed when they were little that their Dad was fabulous and knew everything and could do everything, he was actually just a mediocre underachiever, muddling through, trying to survive.

I guess my hope is that when they’re much older, as old as I am now, maybe they’ll realise that in spite of all that I still managed to be a half decent father. And thus in my own small way, something of the hero they first imagined me to be.

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10 Responses to Stupid Dad

  1. deleted user says:

    they will definitely love you more because you gave them your time, and gave them fun.
    but you’ll probably have to wait a long time for their appreciation to show!

  2. Even if, as you say, you are “a mediocre underachiever, muddling through, trying to survive” (which I for one minute don’t believe you are) this wouldn’t prevent your children from loving and appreciating you. I get the impression that you’re an ideal father – that doesn’t mean perfect – just one of the best. You seem very much like the sort of father my children had, and even if at times they looked at him as your son does now, it didn’t stop them thinking that he really was wonderful.

    • Sadly my self-appraisal as a mediocre underachiever is, if anything, an understatement – if you don’t believe me, I’ve just had to evict my eldest from his bedroom to go and stay with his grandmother for a fortnight so we can give his room to a paying student. Which might not be so bad except he already gave it up for most of his summer holiday. I think it’s a lot to ask a boy of 12 to expect him not to resent that, not to see that as a very straightforward failure in the provision of care. And not by extension to see me as something of a loser. I don’t think he does yet, but I wouldn’t blame him at all if he came to that conclusion.

      • I think that if a few pounds from what you make off the student were given to your son (if you haven’t already thought of doing that), he would he happy to give up his room. Of course, it would propably make the others jealous, but you can’t please all of the children all of the time.

  3. deleted user says:

    Bit difficult to speak for our sons and their Dad, but our eldest, who is still with us, loves his Dad to pieces and his Dad’s been a postie for the last 27 years, so it’s not your position in life that counts with your kids, it’s how much you loved them and let them know it, which clearly you’ve done…that’s what they’ll remember…that you loved them and showed them that you did….big hugs, and wondered where you’d got too…LOL…

    • Thank you. I sometimes wonder if that is what they’ll remember. Maybe all they’ll remember is the shouting and berating, the scrimping and saving. I hope not. At the very least they’d better remember seven interminable Harry Potter books I had to plough through for them (and there’s still the possibility of having to read them all again with the younger ones).

  4. deleted user says:

    I think my dad saw himself as a mediocre under achiever, muddling through, trying to survive. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, either way I miss him. Very much. James.

    • Young master James, you’ve developed something of a habit for leaving comments which bring a tear to my eye.

      Maybe I’ll be lucky enough that my children will turn out to have the level of empathy and sensitivity you have.

  5. Ah yes, the “Oh Mother/Father” stage! When children know best and parents are fools. It will pass, eventually they will look back and see how great you really are/were, but in the meantime do try not to be too much of an embarrassment :sigh:

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